


The Vending Machine

by MissILikeTooManyFandoms



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissILikeTooManyFandoms/pseuds/MissILikeTooManyFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura's love of cookies get her, unsurprisingly, into a bit of trouble.</p><p>Based on the Tumblr-given prompt: "Laura gets her hand stuck in a vending machine trying to get snacks that wouldn't come out and Carmilla finds her and finds it hilarious."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vending Machine

**Author's Note:**

> I had way too much fun with this one. Like seriously. This was a joy. Send me more like it.

“Yes!” Laura cheered, waving her arms in a short sort of victory dance. She looked around, ensuring that no one saw or heard her outburst before rushing over to the vending machine and beautiful blue packaging she had seen just a glimmer of at the beginning of the hall. She knew it was her favorite brand of chocolate chip cookies. She had thought all of the vending machines had been ransacked or that some sort pf mythical creature had it out for her (though realistically even a supernatural university like Silas could still change its vending company) because she had not seen her favorite treat in the machines for nearly a month, but there the precious cookies were. She rubbed her hands together, grinning a bit maniacally. “You are so mine.” She jammed a five Euro note into the machine, groaning when the machine spat it back out, Laura having been too rough in her haste. “Stupid vending machine full of delicious cookies.”

She continued to mutter to herself as she tried again and again to get the machine to take her money. She tried every trick she could think of, smoothing out the note, being gentle, and even begging the machine to have mercy on her sugar deprived heart. She figured it was karma wreaking its revenge because she could not just settle with one cookie package, but had to have a whole 5 note’s worth. Just as she was about to give up, she miraculously found another 5 note tucked into her coat, which she actually realized was Carmilla’s once the machine accepted the note. She shoved her wrinkled note into the pocket, silently swearing to kiss Carmilla as soon as she saw her (not that she was not going to anyway).

Laura took a deep breath so as not to type in the wrong combination, checking three times before finally entering enter on “C7.” She held her breath until the cellophane hit the bottom of the machine with a light thump. She cheered and snatched it out, quickly unwrapping it and shoving two whole cookies into her mouth. She nearly moaned at the taste. After taking a few moments to savor her reunion with her favorite processed food, the sugarholic checked the balance on the machine. She debated for about two seconds before deciding to go ahead and blow the rest of the note on her favorite treat.

“Who knows how long they’ll stay in the machine. Besides, I deserve it.” Satisfied with her reasoning, Laura typed in “C7” four more times. She was practically vibrating in excitement when the last cookie hit the stack at the bottom of the machine. She had already finished the first pack and was eager to eat another package on her way back to her dorm and broody girlfriend. Her gleeful expression fell however, when she stuck her hand into the bottom of the vending machine. She had wrapped her hand around one of the packages, but was unable to pull it out. She remembered that it had been a bit difficult to pull the first package out, but had barely noticed in her excitement. The wrapping had some of its design scraped off during its retrieval. Trying to retrieve the newest package was virtually impossible with all of the other cookies surrounding it. At this revelation, Laura groaned, resting her head against the cool glass of the machine. “I have made a mistake.”

She mentally berated herself while she continued to try and wriggle the cookie package out. After several minutes, she sighed, resigning herself to her cookie-less fate and moved to draw her hand out of the machine, reluctantly releasing her treat. “Oh no.” She pulled and pulled. “C’mon.” She tried everything she could think of, changing her stance, wiggling her fingers, even a few Krav Maga techniques but all to no avail. Laura was stuck.

“Why does these things always happen to me?” She scanned the hallways she could see before drawing her phone from her pocket. _5:22_. The digits blinked at her mockingly, or maybe it was because her phone had been hijacked by a sentient computer virus the week before, but regardless, Laura was not pleased. She knew no one was left in the building, all classes in the Robespierre Building always ending promptly at five so the students could watch any public executions, which were always held at dusk, five having always been a safe time even though dusk came much later in the summer, and despite the lack of public executions since the nineteenth century.  Laura was taking a shortcut through the building to avoid the turf war between the Summer Society and the Zetas. A trident had whizzed past her ear, embedding itself in the stone beside her and she ducked inside immediately after, even then just barely avoiding an arrow at her side. Unfortunately, Laura had saved herself from sharp projectiles only to be bested by a vending machine. And it was not even sentient!

Laura weighed her options carefully. She had to call someone. She hated calling for help, but even she knew when she was defeated. Sometimes anyway. Carmilla, of course, was her first thought, but figuring she would probably just smirk, free her with ease, and then tease her about the incident until the end of time, if she did not just leave her there for a bit to enjoy the whole debacle, Laura ruled her out. LaFontaine was the next logical choice but they would probably try and blow up the vending machine or do something else similarly drastic and Laura rather liked her arm, so she moved on to Perry. The floor don would certainly be the most helpful. She probably had training or something being a floor don but then she would lecture Laura about all the treats she had been trying to buy and maybe even take them away while blaming the treats for Laura’s misfortune, so the trapped blogger ruled Perry out. Danny was the only viable option since Betty would probably just stare at her if she did not outright ignore her call, but Danny also meant a lecture and possibly sad puppy eyes. Laura sighed and hit number 2 on her speed dial.

“Hey there, buttercup.” She picked up on the first ring. Laura tried not to squeal.

“Hey, Carm.”

“Where are you? You’re usually back in the dorm by now. I was rather upset to find my favorite human blanket was nowhere to be found.” Laura resisted the urge to groan. Carmilla was being her wonderful cuddly post-“nap” self and she was going inflict snarky grumpy vampire upon herself.

“I’m in the Robespierre Building.”

“Don’t you have Philosophy of Tyranny on Thursday? And there aren’t any classes that run this late anyway.” Laura took a deep breath.

“Okay, so, I was on my way back from class and the Zetas were throwing tridents and the Summer Society sisters had their bows and arrows and were fighting about who knows what and I almost got hit a few times so I ducked into the Robespierre building to, you know, avoid being impaled and I was hustling through the halls because who knows when those turf wars will move or spill into buildings but then I spotted my favorite cookies in a vending machine and you know I’ve been missing them. The kind I sent you to the store for last week? Yeah those so I got really excited and I tried putting some money in and it didn’t work and I was upset but then I found another note in my jacket, well your jacket, so really your note, which I’m going to pay you back for because I have the money it just wouldn’t take my note but yours worked and I got my cookies but I couldn’t just by one, y’know so spent the whole five note on cookies but I didn’t get them out separately and my hand is stuck.” Laura finally took a breath, waiting with her eyes closed for her girlfriend to speak. Several heartbeats passed.

“Your hand is stuck. In a vending machine.”

“Yes?”

“In the Robespierre Building?”

“Yes.”  Laura opened her eyes when she heard a sigh on the other end of the line.

“First floor?”

“Yes! The Philosophy of Tyranny hallway, actually. I’m near the Napoleon wing. The vending machines right where the halls branch. I can kind of see the tyrant statues.”

“Can you make out any of the statues?”

“I think Ivan the Terrible is facing me.”

“Alright. I’ll be there in a minute.” Laura cheered.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou-“ The phone was plucked from her hand. She shrieked and turned as well as she could while kneeling on the floor with her hand stuck in the vending machine, but to her relief and frustration, it was just her broody vampire.

“You’re in quite the spot, aren’t you, creampuff?” Laura rested her head against the vending machine, groaning as Carmilla’s smirk widened.

“Can you please just get me out?”

“You know most of these things are sentient or possessed right? You probably could have just asked.”

“Wow, Carm, you’re soooo helpful. Why didn’t-“

“Relâchez ma petite amie ou je vais te casser en petits morceaux.” Laura barely had time to realize that Carmilla was speaking another language and that she was very, very turned on by it before she found herself launched backwards into said vampire, the vending machine spitting her out. The cookies followed soon after. Luckily, Carmilla caught her under the arms. 

“What did you say to it?” 

“I kindly asked the machine to release you.”

 “Was that French?” 

“Of course. We’re in the Napoleon Wing, in the Robespierre Building. Of course the vending machine speaks French.”

 “How silly of me to plead with the sentient vending machine in English.” Carmilla chuckled as she helped Laura on to her feet, brushing her off and checking her wrist and hand for any damage. She pressed her lips to the angry red marks, but was otherwise satisfied. Laura blushed under her ministrations. “Thank you.” 

“I’d say anytime but I’d rather not have to plead to anymore vending machines.” Laura scooped up her hard won cookies, missing the way her girlfriend eyed her as she bent over. 

“I think hearing you speak French was worth it.” Laura could not help the blush that crossed her features yet again. 

“Oh, you liked that?” Carmilla pulled her close, whispering a steady stream of French into her ear before teleporting them back to the dorm. The duo fed each other cookies while Carmilla taught Laura a few things she learned in France. Laura vowed to get her hand stuck in at least one other vending machine before she graduated, just so Carmilla could teach her something else.

**Author's Note:**

> The poorly Google Translated French (sorry, I took four years of Spanish not French) said, "Release my girlfriend or I will break you into tiny pieces."


End file.
